silly silly me...

i am a lonely guy. a stupid one at that.
you must see me as this humour-loving, fun and friendly guy who gets along well with anybody.
i'm a good actor, mind you.

i have, in one way or another, pushed the women in my life away.
i could have hurt them, cheated on them, disappointed them, freaked them out and downright used them, whether with or without purpose.

i could go on and rant about how they don't understand me or how they don't see eye to eye with me.
but no.
nope nope nope nope nope nope....
they're not at fault. i am one person who's really bad at telling people how he really feels. even if i did, timing would absolutely suck.

and to a certain person...
don't you ever dare doubt my sincerity. i am a friend, nothing more nothing less. close to family but a friend nonetheless... i know my lines. and maybe i have never seen this side of you cos i have never expect to see it.

*****

For those who try to forget but just can't let go -

I remember...
Sitting on a couch
whispering sweet nothings,
drawing circles and figure-8s with your hair.
Calling each other sweet nicknames. Silly, but sweet.

I know its not right
you moved on.

I still...
Have that frame hung up in my room.
Leave my room kissing your picture on my mirror.
Sleep with your lime green shoal upon my face,
cos without it i can't sleep.
Remember 201204, that unforgettable night.
Miss your scent in the morning.

I know its not right
you moved on.

I do remember those times...
Times where others would've just let go,
but we hung on.
How we'd laugh our asses off,
and cried our tears.. together.

I know its not right
you moved on.

I will keep loving and missing you because...
You took my heart and i can't take it back.
You left an imprint so deep,
that it seems so long for me to fill it up again.
You are the best i ever had.
You fulfill my days like no other could.
I can't help feeling like this.

I know its not right
cos you moved on..
Its just soo wrong.